When Motherhood Breaks Your Heart

Motherhood is not often as beautiful as our social media squares lead us to believe. I keep thinking, though, that I'm fortunate to have good kids, to be navigating all three ages with some semblance of grace. Until a day comes and it all feels like it's crashing down on you and you wonder if you've been wrong all along. Deep down we know that answer. It's not all your fault, mama. I graciously try to remind myself of that each moment I feel so unbearably overwhelmed and consumed.

Our current struggle has been those our children are choosing to surround themselves with at school. Today, I hit a point where I was ready to never take my child back there. I want to blame other parents, but I know that isn't fair. It can be frustrating though, to have the so much of his day more or less out of my hands. The solution is simple, right? Homeschooling is a valid option. I've been talking about it for so many years I've lost track. It's never been quite right, though, and so we've done our best to be involved and apart of the public school culture, and hopefully, the bigger influence in our children's lives. My husband reminded me of something we've always held value to in our parenting journey, as we were talking this morning, he said, "We just have to be the better example to those kids. We have to show them what good, involved parents looks like."

It's proven to not be enough for us with our oldest, and so we're navigating a new and difficult terrain. Motherhood is nothing, if not one GIANT lesson in life. I hope to find a smooth path as we continue figuring things out, but I just want to say -- you're not alone mama. We are all in this together and I promise, some days, weeks, months, even years, are hard for all of us.